Often overlooked, emotional intimacy is a key factor to build trust and even improve your sexual relationship with your significant other. Knowing how to navigate the other person’s mood shifts and issues will help you upgrade your relationship to a stronger bond.
That will provide you both an intimate connection and the sense of familiarity you get just by looking into each other’s eyes, feeling at home with your partner, and being able to talk openly and know each other deeply, to increase quality in every area of your shared lives.
Signs of lacking emotional intimacy
- A feeling of unsafety, exaggerated vulnerability, and unsupportiveness;
- Cold shoulders, apathy, and disconnection;
- Lagged and poor communication or frequent misunderstandings;
- Distant and lower intimacy in romantic interactions;
- Feelings of loneliness and isolation;
- Lack of emotional validation and understanding.
As an example, most couples think it’s normal for the sex drive to drastically fall off the cliff after one year, which shouldn’t be the case. If anything, within a year together, drive should increase and stay at an all-time high if you get the emotional bonding part right. So, how about we design a solving path together? Let’s get practical:
1. Open the doors for communication
While we all desire deep connection, it’s equally crucial to learn how to express thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Most people forget that sharing their needs in the most honest way helps you filter out people’s intentions based on how they respond to you. Also, being credible makes people feel safe and secure around you, and this is the basis of emotional intimacy. It can simply start with “how you’re feeling today?”
2. Active listening
Fostering emotional intimacy means genuinely caring about your partner’s feelings and perspectives. It doesn’t mean being passive or controlled. Active listening involves learning to cooperate in calm and conflicting situations. For instance, don’t rush to solve problems if all they need is to vent. Sit tight, listen, and show interest through your glare.
3. Spending quality time
Dedicating time to shared activities allows you to learn a lot from your partner. Studies show that people develop deep bonds when they accomplish a task together. Bonding through warmth and care lowers your oxytocin levels, explaining why cuddling is always a foolproof antidote for a bad day. Your partner could be watching a movie while you read a book, but still feel a deep connection reading as “my partner has my back.”
4. Showing empathy
If you’re unsure how to show up for your partner during tough times or are uncertain about what they need from you, simply ask them how they would like you to navigate the situation together.
Reassure them in a very comforting way that you’re available whenever they need you. It’s essential that your actions align with your words; otherwise, they may shut down further.
5. Maintaining physical intimacy
One common mistake I’ve seen couples making is they stop touching each other outside the bedroom. Try using a touch on the lower back, playful teasing, a squeeze of the elbow, a comforting rub on the lower back, a heartfelt hug, or spooning at night. These small, everyday touches are vital as they contribute to a love language.
6. Prioritizing Sexual Satisfaction
Research indicates that couples who experience sexual satisfaction tend to have a stronger emotional connection. The two aspects are intricately linked, with each contributing to the overall health of the relationship. True intimacy stems from taking the time to understand and fulfill each other’s pleasure. I would suggest talking more frequently about your fantasies and tastes on sex.
Building emotional intimacy is easier than you may think
You deserve to feel seen, heard, and loved right. This, specifically, should be a defining factor in your relationship. You have to build profound trust that your partner will act in good faith and stand by your side even when things get tough. It’s not that difficult if you open your heart with humility and straightforward honesty. In the end, it’s all about talking and putting yourself in their shoes.